Do you get stressed out around the holidays? Does the thought of having to manage a difficult conversation have you on edge? Then these tips are for you!

The holidays are typically filled with a plethora of very merry and extravagant gatherings and dinner parties. These events can are the perfect recipe for emotional breakdowns, laughing, triggering beliefs, crying, hugging, more crying, and just about any emotional state known to man. You want to be prepared for this, and you want to have the tools to navigate them because you care about your family and you care about your own wellbeing. If you really value spending time with family and friends you can become the silent peace maker just by practicing one simple thing. So how do we manage this jolly time of year and stay connected with loved ones without sacrificing our personal sanity and wellbeing?


Think of it like you are rebooting your device. When your computer starts to act funky usually it just needs to be restarted. But what about our body and our mind? Your breath is directly linked to your nervous system and when you control your breath to be slower and deeper, you begin to reset the mind by calming the nervous system. It is so profoundly simply and beneficial.

  • When you notice someone you are with is beginning to get triggered in any way, notice your breath. Come into your heart, connect to the awesome person they are underneath the it all, and ask them an uplifting question. Stay in that space as long as you need. Example – What is your favorite part of coming together?
  • Although it is a little more challenging to see until after it has happened, this is helpful to do when you notice yourself becoming triggered. When you do notice this, come into your heart and feel the wisdom and aliveness of your own body.

Go outside!

I am a strong believer of taking time outs throughout the day. Have you ever been at a party and somehow been dragged into three different conversations simultaneously? Yep, it happens and it’s ok. When I notice this happening I will take a few deep breaths to regain presence of where I am and what is really going on. This practice allows me to reconnect and reenter my body during the times when I recognize I am losing my focus or begin to enter frustration.

  • If you find yourself in this multi-conversational experience you can politely tell your people you need to use the restroom.
  • Alternatively you can ask if they need another beverage while you retrieve one for yourself.
  • Or just plain and simply ask if anyone would like to get some fresh air!

It’s a healthy practice to reset and recalibrate your mind daily and to find what works for you.

The truth is that many are not as fortunate as you and I so identify and appreciate the blessings you are surrounded with. Don’t be the grinch or the one blaming their internal misery on someone or something else. Remember when you feel the internal pressure cooker building up to take a time out and decompress before you hit the panic button and start causing trouble. If you notice this internal pressure cooker building in someone else, take a moment and focus on your breathing and ask a question that will help bring them into their center.

To be the light you must understand that we are all unique and have a personal limit for engagement. Do you know your personal limits? When we identify these limits, use them as guidelines, and practice slower breathing, it is easier to stay in our zone of connection.


Remember to be kind to yourself this season and give plenty of time to relax, reflect and let go of what is not needed. Remember that you can be the catalyst for creating a more loving and connected gathering and it begins with how you enter each moment.

With love,

Alec Hurley


I’d love for you to join the Higher Self Wellness group on Facebook and share your thoughts and strategies for creating peace and harmony this season!


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Published by Alec Hurley

Alec Hurley is a Yoga Health Coach, yoga teacher in the San Diego area and a life long surfer. He is the founder of Higher Self Wellness and an avid practitioner of ancient wisdom and spiritual practices which he infuses into his public yoga classes and group program “The Art of Connection”. He is professionally trained as a Chef and incorporates the ancient wisdom of “food as medicine” into his culinary creations. Alec infuses the practices of personal and planetary alignment into his modern healthy lifestyle toolkit to help shift the collective into deeper states of connection.

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